dear mom,
i'm sitting at rehearsal right now. this is the hardest show i've ever worked on. it makes no sense to me, and it has caused me to wonder if my love of costumes really is enough...if my heart is in it. i feel like getting into UGA was such a fantastic, exciting, humbling thing...and then this show has just started to entirely overshadow it. the director told me tonight that i should reconsider being a costume designer and just marry rich. what an awful thing to say?! you would've bitch slapped her. i'm hoping that, someday, i'm able to just look back on it knowing what it taught me, but i haven't ever worked on a show that i felt so disconnected from. i've started looking for apartments in athens. i can't believe i'm really moving seven hours from home. i'm going to miss daddy and my sissies. and joshie. please watch over them. send me a sign. remind me why i love this. i miss you more than i can describe.

love always,

jordan elizabeth 

mommy,

when the days get rough it makes me wish you were here even more. you sent beautiful weather today though! i loved it (but couldnt enjoy too much of it because i had class). anyway, im sure you watched over Andrea and Mikes beautiful wedding. what a great couple they make. keep watch over them as they enjoy all the exciting things of a married life. the rimmer's need you to watch over them as well <3 i wish we could have a mom/daughter date night and just curl up and put on a good movie. there is nothing wrong with having dreams, hopes and wishes, right? there are so many things i wish i could tell you, and see the reaction on your face when i told you <3 you know exactly what im talking about. i just cant believe that it has almost been a year, its unreal. i love you lotsly forever and always,

Bee

To my gammy

I lOve you all the way past all the planets and all the houses and all the trees and all the lakes and ponds and all the grass and all the places you can go to. I wish you were here Gammy, I love you all the way past everywhere. I wish you were here for Christmas. I'm gonna get you a sPecial gift before the day I die, it's gonna be a necklace and a ring and earrings that's NC State. I wish yOu were here very much because I love you all the way past everything in the world even heaven and the planets and the stars and everywhere yOu can go to. I love you very much I wish yOu were here and I'm gonna give you a Christmas present. I love you- I wish you were here very much. I'm starting to get sad all because you died. I wish you were here, I hope your leg feels better, I have what I wanted for Christmas but not everything. I'm trying not to be greedy, I love yOu very much and I wish you could come home to eat dinner with us and breakfast and lunch, it was really good. Somedays I have rough days, somedays my mommy and daddy have rough days, we all miss you very much. I wish you were still alive- I wish yOu were with us everyday. I'm still glad yOur in heaven because now your leg feels better- I hope your lung feels better
The End
- exact words of Joshua Smith